Pet Tips 'n' Tales©
The Dangers of Wearing a Live Fur Coat!
Photo by Linda D.©
Mary Ellen on a summer evening, wearing two Persians (Nymbus and Myster E.) like a fur coat. The walk had a startling ending--proving that wearing a live fur coat is fraught with dangers!
A treat for our inside cats is to be carried, one at a time, out the front door and then down the street. This way they can investigate the world from the safe vantage point of my arms. Who knows...they might spot something to relieve their boredom and add excitement to their world!
One hot summer evening, one that was way too hot to be wearing a fur coat, I stepped barefoot outside wearing an eight-pound male Silver Persian on each arm.
I walked down the street with my arms draped in their beautiful white fur, wondering why I felt the need to take two at once.
I rotated this way and that so the cat-brothers' huge green eyes, designed for hunting, could discover a wonderful unexpected mystery.
Our cats have the best manners. These two six-year-old males have never had an argument or fight. They are like well-behaved nobility, always exhibiting the best of manners and respect for each other.
Before my "boys" saw them, I spotted a pair of neighborhood cats seeking relief from the heat under a bush.
I teach my cats English by word repetition and "cat" is in their vocabulary, so I alerted my cats to the presence of the hiding cats by repeating, "Cat! Cat! Cat!" My cats immediately spun their heads around scanning with their eyes and using their ears like radar devices searching for the cat that had made the major kitty offence of being on their visual turf.
Myster E. spotted the two offending cats first. He emitted a low growl that sounded like, "You dirty rotten cats! Get off my street!"
Nymbus had not yet spotted the "enemy" cats, but he heard Myster E. and was confused. He had never heard such language from his mild-mannered brother. In response, he turned and began hissing and hitting Myster E. like a boxer wearing big puffy white paw-mitts. This caught Myster E. and me totally by surprise!
Myster E. returned the favor by hissing and batting back at Nymbus. Oh, my gosh! I had been turned into a human boxing ring! In the midst of their confrontation, they still behaved as gentlemen and did not claw each other or me!
I gently talked to them and the CAT-erwauling thankfully subsided, and we continued our walk.
That is when Nymbus caught sight of the two now-startled "stranger" cats. Imagine what those pair of cats were thinking watching a mobile cat fight!
Now it was Nymbus's turn; he began growling at the cats. Of course, Myster E. assumed Nymbus was growling at him, and the fight began all over again.
Since they were furiously fisticuffing, and I kept trying to hold them further and further apart. But they have very long legs, and my arms aseemed shorter than I remembered!
It was obvious that the battle would continue, so I began a swift retreat back to the driveway. That's when something else went wrong!
The house telephone rang inside. So, I sprinted to the front door, struggling to hang on to the ongoing cat fight!
Visualize this: two quarreling cats, a ringing phone and not a single finger available to open the screen door!
No one was home to call for help to open the door latch, let alone relieve me of one of the brawling cats or answer the persistently ringing phone.
Normally I would stack one Persian on top of the other so I could release the door latch, but in this case, with them still scrapping, growling, and hissing, they were hardly in stacking mode!
By now, our other three cats had heard the cat commotion and had gathered at the screen door like curious fans at a ball game.
Now, my problem was two-fold. Cats in arms and cats indoors. How could I keep any of them from escaping and running after the neighborhood cats?
It is not easy hosting a cat fight in your arms, worrying about missing a phone call, and thinking on how to solve the problem!
Finally, I lifted one bare foot and released the door latch with my toes.
Thankfully the door opened wide enough for me to put Myster E. and Nymbus on the floor in the hallway, prevent the other three from escaping, and run for the phone - all while maneuvering around five cats running ten different directions!
Too bad the entire escape was not videotaped! The cat-crazy video would have won America's Funniest Home Videos!
So much for a quiet walk for the bemusement of two bored cats! All of our adrenalin was pumping now!
I wish we could read the minds of the bush cats as they observed the walking cat fight. We must have relieved their boredom, too!
If the neighbors saw this crazy scene, they might ask for advance warning of our next walk so they can have their video cameras handy! One thing is for sure, we relieved everyone's boredom and found some excitement that hot summer evening!
Tips 'n' Tales newspaper columnist Mary Ellen with Miss Wings
AngelScribe AT msn DOT com
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